Monthly Archives: March 2009

My brain hurts

I think I’m tired.

Why am I tired, one might ask?  I’m tired because sometimes I just can’t shut this brain of mine off.  It just works overtime.  And, the most tiresome task my brain takes on…is analyzing.

I’m an avid analyzer…of people, that is.  Man oh man, I tell ya.  I can pick apart all of it.  The way someone looked at me.  The tone of their voice.  The way they said “Hi”, or didn’t say hi.  Something that was done.  Something that was said.  Even the major decisions someone makes in their lives.  There are times when my brain kicks into high gear to try to piece it all together, and try to make the words and actions make sense to me.  As though their issues concern me.  I make them my concern.

You might be having a bad day.  My response, (in my brain, that is)…what did I do wrong?  What did I do wrong??!!  Hello…it’s not about you, Mary.  I think this hit me today as I was talking to some dear friends of mine.  I was referring back to a “self focused” time in my life.  I said something like, “You know…I thought the moon followed me everywhere I went.”

Well, then it hit me this afternoon.  You’re there right now, Mar.  The moon’s following you cause you’re making everyones issues about you…so, have a nice walk and we’ll see ya when you get back.

If this sounds crazy to you, well, it does to me too.  It’s OK though.  This seems to be a seasonal thing with me.  Not seasonal as in Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall.  Seasonal being…I’m in a season of analyzing right now.  You ever been there?  I know you have.

So, as I’m rambling on in this post, I’m realizing that it really is  a tiresome grind to try to figure people out.  And, I think there’s a reason for that.  It’s not my job.  That’s so easy to say.  Not so easy to do.  Like I said, my brain works overtime.  For example: I’m wondering how the few people who might read this post will respond.  I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I was thinking of them that they might be thinking I’m thinking of them and that’s why I wrote this 😉

Ya see how crazy this sounds?

I’m so glad no one else struggles with this.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”                                                                            Philippians 4:6-7

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